Sherlock Holmes - In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm haemmorraging.

 In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm haemmorraging.

Sherlock Holmes: That's it, big man. You've won, congratulations.
McMurdo: Oi, we ain't done yet!
Sherlock Holmes:This mustn't register on an emotional level...
First, distract target...
Then block his blind jab, counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate.
Dazed, will attempt wild haymaker. Employ elbow block, and body shot. Block feral left, weaken right jaw, now fracture.
Break cracked ribs, traumatize solar plexus, dislocate jaw entirely.
Heel kick to diaphragm...
In summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm haemmorraging. Physical recovery: six weeks. Full psychological recovery: six months. Capacity to spit at back of head: neutralized.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest!

I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest!

Soap: What kind of pub is this?

Barman: It's a Samoan pub.

Bacon: What's that?

Barman: It's a cocktail. You asked for a cocktail.

Bacon: No. I asked you to give me a refreshing drink. I wasn't expecting a fucking rainforest! You could fall in love with an orangutan in that!